Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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