Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
