its not stalking. its research.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
