No more Irish car bombs ever.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
