I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
