I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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