just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
