I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
