He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
