u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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