So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
