i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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