is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I licked your asshole in confidence.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
