so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You took a bar mat shot.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
