Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
