I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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