I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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