His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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