when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
