at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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