your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
foreskin is a definite game changer
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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