is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
