you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
