I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
MIDGETS
????
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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