what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
