This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
