It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
