: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
