Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Drunk is a universal language darling
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
