Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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