You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You need a sexual gate keeper
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
