dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
