Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
