sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
