you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
