do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
