Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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