Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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