so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
