I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
