I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
