I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
