He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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