Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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