i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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