i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
