remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
