Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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