so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
