I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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