you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
