i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
